Random Squeegee: I Look Like A Goldfish


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Monday, August 22, 2005

Saturday, my mom thought it would be fun if we all went over to my grandmother's house and clean up her garden. Hey, who doesn't enjoy pulling up weeds and cutting down overgrown plants in the blistering heat?

I'd love to relive all that family fun time for you, but I can't, because my face is all swollen and I can barely see. Somehow, I managed to get poison...something... all over me. It wasn't posion ivy; there weren't any "leaves of three" in sight. It could have been poison oak or sumac. I don't know what they look like.

Anyway, I've got it all over my arms and around my eyes. My lips look normal, but they feel the same way they do when the dentist shoots novacaine into my gums. My left eye especially is all puffy, and I'm having trouble keeping it open. So I'm going to bed now.

posted by John at 10:35 AM

32 comments

Hehe. Oops, that wasn't supposed to be funny, was it? I feel poisoned when I spend time with my family, too.

:) Princess

posted by BipolarPrincess : 8/22/2005 10:42 AM

That sucks. Post pics.

posted by NYPinTA : 8/22/2005 11:54 AM

So sorry about your run-in with the outdoors. *snerk* No really, I feel terrible for you. Actually, I've been there before. I got attacked by killer sumac once, and I was barely able to fight them off with Calamine lotion. It was touch and go there for awhile.

So, do you look like Martin Short in Pure Luck? Wha? I'm trying to be sympathetic here!

posted by trinamick : 8/22/2005 11:54 AM

I wish i'd taken pictures yesterday, when it was all scaley. Then I could have shown the transition from normal, to scaley, to puffy. Like the old Wolfman movies.

posted by John : 8/22/2005 12:10 PM

I saw him this morning when he dropped off something at work and then headed straight back home. He kind of has a post-fight "Raging Bull" look going on around the eyes. Either that or he just heard the saddest story in the world, like his cat Fluffy just got run over by a thresher.

posted by mr. schprock : 8/22/2005 12:11 PM

Poison Sumac is some nasty nasty stuff
Good luck that stuff dude.

Pics, Pics, Pics!!!

posted by Henry : 8/22/2005 12:15 PM

Schprock--maybe it was he that wood chippered Fluffy--someone said he was into that....

posted by Henry : 8/22/2005 12:16 PM

He does sort of look like he was in a few rounds with a boxer.

Not to worry though. He's being waited on hand and foot by yours truly. Sponge bath, medicine on his itchy parts, lunch....oh yeah, he's suffering alright *rolls eyes*...

posted by Michele : 8/22/2005 12:25 PM

"sponge bath"? too much info.

and don't worry John, I didnt laugh (too much)

posted by Jose : 8/22/2005 12:28 PM

"Not to worry though. He's being waited on hand and foot by yours truly. Sponge bath, medicine on his itchy parts, lunch....oh yeah, he's suffering alright…"

Oh is he ever milking this. What he needs is a little tough love. Make him go finish his Grandma's garden with a radiation suit on. Slacker.

posted by mr. schprock : 8/22/2005 1:01 PM

^ and post pics of that too. :D

posted by NYPinTA : 8/22/2005 1:24 PM

Michele- For God's sake, why did you write that?! I do have to go back to work eventually. Not to mention my parents' house. Sheesh.

mr. schprock- Don't worry. We finished the garden, and it looks a lot better than I do.

It really doesn't look too bad, it's mostly just red now.

posted by John : 8/22/2005 2:53 PM

can't get the images out of my head....

posted by Jose : 8/22/2005 2:59 PM

Aw, you're just jealous because you have to sponge yourself.

posted by John : 8/22/2005 3:29 PM

umm, no not really.

posted by Jose : 8/22/2005 4:10 PM

nypinta--did you want pics of the sponge bath-----or the radiation suit?

Hmmmmmm

posted by Henry : 8/22/2005 4:15 PM

Radiation suit!

posted by NYPinTA : 8/22/2005 4:34 PM

" nypinta--did you want pics of the sponge bath-----or the radiation suit?"

I think I speak for us all when I say... Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww...

posted by LL : 8/22/2005 8:53 PM

Hey JG! How do you expect me to leave rude comments on your new blog if you've disabled the comment section? *shakes head*

posted by LL : 8/22/2005 8:59 PM

"Hey JG! How do you expect me to leave rude comments on your new blog if you've disabled the comment section? *shakes head*"

Yeah, I did that with you in mind LL....see I actually want to post something before I get your rude comments! ;)

posted by Michele : 8/23/2005 7:33 AM

Quick update:

John looks even worse. Forget goldfish, he looks like a puffer fish. Don't worry, I took a picture this morning so everyone can gawk. It should be up by tomorrow. ;)

posted by Michele : 8/23/2005 8:54 AM

Cool. I knew we could count on you. :P

posted by trinamick : 8/23/2005 11:41 AM

Here's your opportunity to the remake of the Elephant Man, "I'm not an animal!"

posted by Scott : 8/23/2005 12:15 PM

*rubs hands together*
I cant wait for that pic!!

posted by Henry : 8/23/2005 3:00 PM

Scott: I was thinking "Mask"

Maybe we can get Michele as the Cher character??

posted by Henry : 8/23/2005 3:02 PM

Or Johnny Handsome.

posted by Scott : 8/23/2005 3:16 PM

I vote Elephant Man

posted by Jose : 8/23/2005 4:35 PM

you are funny. very good blog. A+++++and an extra extra +. have good day.

posted by Anonymous : 8/23/2005 6:21 PM

"Don't worry, I took a picture this morning so everyone can gawk. It should be up by tomorrow. ;)"

You're the best girlfriend a guy could ask for.

"Yeah, I did that with you in mind LL....see I actually want to post something before I get your rude comments! ;)"

I'm crushed.

posted by LL : 8/23/2005 7:16 PM

"I'm crushed."

Yeah. Sure you are. ;P

posted by Michele : 8/23/2005 8:02 PM

Not to be a spoilsport or anything, but is poison oak/sumac/whathaveyou something that you should see the doctor about when it gets that close to your eyes? Just wondering.

Glad to see that Boston is back to their winning ways. ;-)

posted by Kathleen : 8/25/2005 9:31 AM

I went to the doctor on Tuesday. I'm on steroids now (really!) I guess I won't be playing major league baseball anytime soon. I just hope I don't grow bitch-tits like Meatloaf.

posted by John : 8/25/2005 9:36 AM