Okay, kids, I've got an assignment for you. Back in the late eighties, there was this guy in a lab coat and green pants. Not regular green, but that bluish Miami Vice green that was all over the place back then. Anyway, this guy had four legs, and he would go up on stage and proceed to cut off his appendages with a chainsaw, one by one, while The Peter Gunn Theme plays in the background.
I would think it would be pretty hard to forget something that monumentally weird, but when I brought it up with my friends a few weeks ago, they all looked at me like I had mayonnaise bleeding out of my eyes. I should have been the one with the blank look on my face. I mean, how do you just blank out a guy sawing off his freaking legs? If we weren't all broke, I would have put money on this guy's existence.
Have you ever been the only one that remembers something, and it gets to the point where you start to think maybe you imagined your entire childhood? Fortunately, Al Gore invented the internet, where you can find 9,000 other people that remember the same ridiculous things you do. That's a pretty good feeling; to sit back and say, "See, I knew Snow White had her own sitcom in the eighties!"
So I went home and did a search for "chainsaw," "lab coat" and "Peter Gunn." Nothing. Nothing relevant, anyway.
So...anyone want to back me up on this? Max Headroom-looking four-legged chainsaw guy, anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
