Random Squeegee: Soak it in Dishwater!

Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Soak it in Dishwater!

I found this joke online:

A young bride and groom-to-be had just selected their wedding rings. As the young lady admired the plain platinum and diamond band she had chosen for herself, she suddenly looked concerned. "Tell me," she asked the rather elderly salesman, "Is there anything special I'll have to do to take care of this ring?" With a fatherly smile, the salesman said, "One of the best ways to protect a wedding ring is to soak it in dishwater."

I've got to be missing something here. Where's the punchline? Are you not supposed to get dishwater on wedding rings? I feel like there needs to be another paragraph or two. Maybe a genie or a talking goat could also give her advice. There could be some wordplay at work here that I'm not picking up on. Soak it in dishwater. Maybe if you say it really fast it sounds like something else. Soakitindishwater. Sew kitten this otter? That doesn't make any sense. Anyone? They made a point to say the salesman was elderly, so his answer must be some sort of comically incorrect thing, right? That must be a clue.

But "soak it in dishwater" is more odd than funny. Like, if you went up to a guy and asked him what time it was, and he said, "Gophers! There's gophers controlling the New York Stock Exchange!" That wouldn't really be a joke. A non-sequitur, sure, but not a joke in the tradition of "Three guys of differing races, religions and or nationalities are doing something fairly innocuous when suddenly a figure of either mythical, religious or historical significance appears, and hilarity ensues." If it had been a leprechaun talking to a hillbilly, it would have been instantly funnier.

What is the joke? This is killing me. Is that it? Is the joke that it's not really funny? I've heard of those, I think Mr. Schprock talked about it before. It's when you tell a completely nonsensical, unfunny joke and then laugh uncontrollably, leaving the other person completely baffled. So they start laughing because they don't want to look stupid, and then you ask them to explain why the joke is funny. Which, of course, they can't. I don't think this is one of those, but...soak it in dishwater, what does that mean? Can someone please explain this freaking joke? I don't get it.

Labels: dishwater, explain, jokes

posted by John at 11:38 AM

Comments:

I *think* the elderly man was implying that the young woman should be diligent in her kitchen duties, or else her husband would divorce her.

He probably had to be elderly because it's adorable when old people say things that are racist, sexist, or otherwise offensive.

One afternoon many years ago, I was watching Divorce Court with my grandparents. And about halfway through, my grandfather looked over at me and said (in his heavy Cajun accent), "If your Mamaw don't get off her bohunkus and go cook me dinner, you're gonna be seeing me and her on Divorce Court."

Which is a hell of a lot funnier than soaking a wedding ring in dishwater.

posted by

Irb : 1/15/2008 3:36 PM

Yeah, we eventually figured it out at work. It's a sexist joke, the guy is saying if you do the dishes, your husband won't leave you. But it's not funny! It's stupid and dated, not just because it's sexist, but who soaks dishes anymore? Saying rinse it in the dishwasher kind of diminishes it's paternalistic punchline. And how does protecting a wedding ring correspond with saving you marriage? When you divorce, does your ring crumble and turn to dust like the Skeksis emperor? Sure, A ring is a representation of your bond or whatever, but there's really no way of getting that response from that question without stretching all the idioms, figures of speech and rules of linguistics to the breaking point. If I was the bride, I would have thought he meant take your ring off and let it soak in water overnight.

The divorce court thing is much funnier. It'd be even funnier with hillbillies and leprechauns though.

posted by

John : 1/15/2008 3:59 PM

You are the very definition of sensitive 90's guy, aren't you g_s...

posted by

LL : 1/15/2008 7:03 PM

Maybe, but that joke is still lame.

posted by

John : 1/15/2008 9:37 PM

You're reading way too much into the joke. It's not implying the symbolism of marriage. It's plain and simple a sexist joke. The old man is simply saying "Do the damn dishes, woman!" It has nothing to do with saving her marriage; the old coot is just saying the dishes is womans work.

posted by

Farrago : 1/15/2008 9:42 PM

Yes, but how is "Do the dishes" a viable response to "How do I take care of this ring?"

Hold on. I think I know what you mean now. He's not mistaking her question about taking care of the ring with a question about keeping her husband, he's giving her bogus advice to get her to do "woman's work." That's even more stupid than I originally thought! And why would he care is she does the dishes, she's not his wife. This is frustrating. It's like that riddle about hungry angry and the third thing. It still feels like half a joke. I get it, it's just dumb. I feel cheated.

posted by

John : 1/16/2008 7:56 AM

John - You're so cute, not getting this joke. Irb is right on the money, the salesman was telling her not to neglect her housewifely duties.

posted by

Kathleen : 1/16/2008 1:22 PM

I think I've heard this joke before with slightly different wording that made it make more sense... but not complete sense because if her husband was the one that asks for the divorce, (for her lack of doing dishes supposedly) I'm pretty sure etiqutte says she gets to keep the ring. She only has to give it back if she were to ask for the break up. And who breaks up because they didn't get to do enough dishes?

posted by

NYPinTA : 1/16/2008 1:27 PM

I know in my house, I'm the one always taking heat if the sink is a mess. I could give a crap if the dishes are done.

posted by

John : 1/16/2008 1:57 PM